HOLIDAY DECORATING: THE GEEK WAY!
Every year, Grandma insists on getting you an ornament painted with a selection from the Thomas Kinkade’s Homely Lighthouses, Etc. collection. Your wife insists on using popcorn garland, but won’t let you eat it off the tree. This is the year to decorate the house YOUR way. The right way. The comic book geek way. Here’s a slew of ornaments and decorations guaranteed to jingle your bells.
Underdog Ornament (Dark Horse)
Your Underdog t-shirt is covered in Chicken Quesadilla Hot Pocket grease. So is mine. But this little number is something you can display to others. Underdog, the shoeshine boy with the secret life, should be your biggest hero if he’s not already.
Peanuts Lucy 10-inch Nutcracker (Van Pelt)
Lucy…a nutcracker…..because she’s a bitch….oh, these jokes write themselves. And look, she cracks the nut right where her heart would be! Give Peppermint Pattie a vigorous fist-bump for me, girlfriend.
Batman statue (Kurt S. Adler)
This fabric mache statue features Bats in his classic blue/gray/yellow ensemble, precariously climbing down the chimney with gifts for Batgirl, Robin, and Alfred. There’s an extra package for you, Robin, because you’ve been very nice this year.
Super-deformed Spiderman plush (Comic Images)
What’s that in your spidey-sack? Gifts for all the little girls and boys? How nice of you! Now, how about you a.) go back to fighting crime and b.) find a way to make your red Santa hat not clash with your red outfit.
Kozik Merry Mini Bombs (Toy2R)
True geeks love vinyl toys. And anyone interested in vinyl knows Frank Kozik. So get yourself a little bit of nerd cred and throw these little fellas up on your mantel. They come in a set of two with their own base. Each bomb is about two inches tall.
Galaga ornament (Hallmark)
Last year Hallmark started this line of ornaments with a Pac-Man machine. This year, the retro gaming love-fest continues with Galaga. These tiny arcade replicas light up and feature sounds from their respective games. They also work pretty well if you want to build an arcade for your action figures.
Christmas in the Stars CD (Rhino)
Now a little Star Wars mood music to set the stage for a fine, geeky holiday. Good luck finding this one, and if you do, be prepared to pay. Featuring Bon Jovi, one of disco’s biggest producers, and a Yale professor, this has got to be the best novelty Christmas album around. Features hits like “What Can You Get a Wookiee for Christmas (When He Already Owns a Comb?)” The answer: relaxer.